Bruised, blood-stained feet of a child.
Growing pains, working in the fields
‘Till she grows lame.
Dusk ‘til dawn, cultivating rice
hoping one day to get a raise
in status above her siblings.
She has four brothers
so why even bother,
in a male infested world
that she will never conquer.
Sold into slavery at thirteen
to a man 20 years older
in the dark he would behold her,
undeveloped features make her angelic
but a look in the mirror and all she sees is demonic.
Vomiting at her sight, but she really knows
that she’s starving the baby inside,
that she hopes dies, so it won’t have to be a girl
so that she can tell her lies,
that her mind and grace is what makes her defined.
Her bones boldly defined in her thin white garment.
Masked scars she cuts into her arms,
being in hell is the reason
she hasn’t seen her mom in 10 seasons
after her father auctioned her off to this demon.
Laying down in bed
she says her final prayer:
“Lord, swallow the hate that consumes this world.
Shed tears on the fires that burn our souls,
Evoke wisdom for those who will listen,
And I pray peace for all God’s children.”
Journal Entry: 10/26/14
Truth: I miss being a kid, going to school (which was easy then) playing outside all evening, then coming home for dinner. My favorite meal: plantains, with white rice and backed fish (or smoked turkey in a stew).
Sad truth: When I was younger, I always wished I could be older😦 Then I had to listen to people say enjoy it while you can, being a child is effortless. Then I would ignore them and say I want to make my own rules, have my own freedom and the likes. Freedom sucks actually. I miss having a bed time…I sleep now when I have time.
Sadder Truth: I now tell immature middle and high school students to enjoy life while they can: Free shelter, free food, free ride to events, and too much time to think about nonsense things, like who to take to a dance, and how frizzy your hair gets when it rains. Then I listen to them sass talk be saying they can’t wait ’til their “grown.”
Saddest truth: I’m reminiscing about being a child, on my blog, when I have midterms this week. Life has a funny way of making you realize the things you’ve taken for granted at the most inconvenient moments….
Have you Ever?
Have you ever felt alone,
Like if you shouted at the top of your lungs over the Effiel tower, people still wouldn’t hear you?
Have you ever been consumed in thought,
So much so that you accidentally use your car keys to try to unlock your front door?
Have you ever been so confused,
That that you start asking your pet or your pillow for answers?
Have you ever felt betrayed,
Like when your friend use to by like your brother/sister, but now they have become your sworn enemy?
Have you ever had a longing for someone,
Like when say you will trek the mountains, the ocean, and Atlantis for them,
But when you see them pass by, you dumbly walk the other way?
If you have ever felt any of these things, be grateful, you are still very much alive.
I want you to know I love you.
Yes you, the boy with the eyes, that has a light brown hue,
That turns a dirty blond on a spring infected morning.
You had me at first lust, without even courting.
Two young doves when we met.
Moved in together before you and my mother even met.
Mother said slow down, God’s time is the right time.
But the right time is this time because my time, is always the right time.
Or so I thought.
Our love fell apart in the fall.
Standing on my wall of regrets I wanted to fall, so that I could never recall,
Not the lies you told me…. well sort of,
But the lies I told myself, thinking this could be love.
While your life might seem like an obstacle to you, it can be the answer to someone else’s prayers.
It’s all about perspective.
Sometimes you need to change the way you look at your job, the way you look at your loved ones, the way you look at your friends or even the way you look at your adversaries.
But perhaps most importantly, you need to change the way you look at yourself.
Although you may be comfortable (or not) with the current season you are in
You should know that there is something better waiting for you on the other side of perception.
shattering my old perceptions
Journal Entry: What Lies Beneath
What lies beneath that pancaked drug-store foundation
Or those green contact lenses that you use to hide your light brown irises.
What lies beneath the temporary washed out auburn die, that covers bold, jet black tresses.
What lies beneath your degree in petroleum engineering
Or the many awards littered around your dull apartment full of scholarly accomplishments.
What lies beneath the years of labor to achieve your goals, to find out it was never what you expected.
What lies beneath the years you let pass to hold on having a family
Or the lost times with loved ones that you occasionally called on Christmas and birthdays.
What lies beneath your reasons, to forget to live your life.
Surely not worldly pressures to obtain the tangible, by forsaking the intangible……
A young adult of the millennial generation
To look at blue skies every morning and let the sun’s heavenly glow drip down my skin.
To be thankful for my past, both the good and the bad and the breath I’m using to write this poem.
To be present. I’m really not in this moment, but thinking about tomorrow, next week, next year…next life. I want to learn how to live in this moment.
To write….my greatest talent from God, overshadowed by my consent.
Choosing to remember
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. –Thomas A. Edison
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” -Socrates
“One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.” –John Green
If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present. –Lao Tzu