I want you to know I love you.
Yes you, the boy with the eyes, that has a light brown hue,
That turns a dirty blond on a spring infected morning.
You had me at first lust, without even courting.
Two young doves when we met.
Moved in together before you and my mother even met.
Mother said slow down, God’s time is the right time.
But the right time is this time because my time, is always the right time.
Or so I thought.
Our love fell apart in the fall.
Standing on my wall of regrets I wanted to fall, so that I could never recall,
Not the lies you told me…. well sort of,
But the lies I told myself, thinking this could be love.
Journal Entry: What Lies Beneath
What lies beneath that pancaked drug-store foundation
Or those green contact lenses that you use to hide your light brown irises.
What lies beneath the temporary washed out auburn die, that covers bold, jet black tresses.
What lies beneath your degree in petroleum engineering
Or the many awards littered around your dull apartment full of scholarly accomplishments.
What lies beneath the years of labor to achieve your goals, to find out it was never what you expected.
What lies beneath the years you let pass to hold on having a family
Or the lost times with loved ones that you occasionally called on Christmas and birthdays.
What lies beneath your reasons, to forget to live your life.
Surely not worldly pressures to obtain the tangible, by forsaking the intangible……
A young adult of the millennial generation
To look at blue skies every morning and let the sun’s heavenly glow drip down my skin.
To be thankful for my past, both the good and the bad and the breath I’m using to write this poem.
To be present. I’m really not in this moment, but thinking about tomorrow, next week, next year…next life. I want to learn how to live in this moment.
To write….my greatest talent from God, overshadowed by my consent.
Choosing to remember
Had to take a break to reevaluate my life.
Had to take a step back, to realize all the people I lost along the way,
and appreciate the ones that always stayed.
Had to take a break from the hectic semester and give myself a real vacation.
Had to take a step back to realize I’m better off with the less that I have now,
compared to the more I had before,
I’m coming back for good, hopefully I’m not misunderstood
that I had to take a break. Simple.
But now I’m fully reloaded, accessible, adjusted,and primed to get my blogging on. Simple.
You can NEVER be better than what you think of yourself.
Tell your mind a different story, so your life can reenact it.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”
Shine at what you were created to to be, you will frustrate yourself being who you’re not.
These lies are sweet
An intoxicating concoction that makes me numb.
I never want to believe you’re wrong.
As I continue eating apples from your tree of deceit,
Your taste becomes bitter
As I learn I deserve better.
The gun is fired.
Smoke intoxicates her lungs.
Her strides become longer with every breath
Time is her biggest competitor,
It hovers around her like her shadow.
The sounds of the applause become audible
As she passes the finish line.
Spend an hour defining what success means to you
Before you spend years chasing it.
Don’t compare me to a summer’s day.
My hair doesn’t fall effortlessly down my back,
It frizzes and tangles its way to my shoulders.
I don’t glide across the floor when I walk
I occasionally trip, bounce, and sometimes break into dance.
I don’t wake up graciously in my bed like a goddess,
I have a bewildered look in my eyes, as my body is outstretched to every corner of my bed.
My voice doesn’t roll off my tongue like honey,
It usually squeaks when I get into a heated argument.
I don’t go to school looking like I’m going to a runway shoot,
I usually prefer a cute t-shirt, jeans and vans.
Do not compare me to a summer’s day,
Because I am better.
I am me.